Licebo Bafazi: Indlela ukumxolela?

Soloko eyoyikisayo xa kundingcatsha. Kubonakala ukuba ihlabathi jikelele luyawohloka, oku akafuni ukukholwa, andifuni ukuba baphile. Kodwa kufuneka uphile. Kananjalo kufuneka ukuba nikholwe. Kunye nento isigqibo.

sibalekele iimpazamo

Ngoko, xa sele sifundile ukuba kukho ukungcatshwa umfazi wakhe, animele angaze ahlukane efanayo. Yintoni wena ukuba ukuthabatha eli nyathelo lokuqala kulindeleke ukuba ezingalungile. Tshisa lo mzuzu, unako ukwenza yonke, yaye akubonakali ukuba yonke into ziyenzeka ukwengeza iingxaki ngaphezulu. Eyona nto intle kangaka kude ukuyeka umva ukusuka meko kunye epholileyo. Kuyacetyiswa ukuba ube kufuphi omthandayo - mntu ngoku ukuba ibe nzima kakhulu. Okokuqala, yintoni ngokwemveli abhenele rhoqo emva ukungcatshwa umfazi wakhe - na utywala. Kakade ke, kunzima kule meko ukuze sihlale, kodwa kungcono ukwenza kanye loo nto. Ukuba ikwimeko asanelanga, ungenza kwakhona wenze ububi kwimeko sethu ezingafunekiyo. Ukongezelela, utywala kukuninzi akathathi isisombululo eyaneleyo, kwanabancinane kweli mzekelo, kunqabile umda, ngoko ke kungcono ukuba usebenzise konke konke.

Ayikho into akaphiki

Ukuze ngokukhawuleza kwehlise isimo sengqondo kuyimfuneko ukwenza into ukuba uza kusiwa ngokupheleleyo kude kwaye wenze nto wayengayikhanyeli, ukongeza, kakade, ububhanxa. Uyakwazi ukuthenga yonke into sifuna ngaphambili, okanye into ayenzayo umntu engaqinisekanga ukuba wayefuna kwaye andazi ukuba usebenzise indlela nokuba - ulwazi olutsha nezakhono zamkelekile. Ayizi ukonakalisa okanye ukutshintsha umfanekiso - oku nempembelelo enamandla kakhulu kurhulumente ngokweemvakalelo. Inikela lonke kukugeza.

ucinga ngayo

Xa unako, kufuneka ngenyameko kangangoko ithuba lokuyihlolisisa le meko. Ngaba kusengqiqweni uyeke ngayo olo lwalamano? Ukuba anonxibelelwano kancinane, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akhombe ekuhlaleni ndawonye apho. Kodwa inqabile kakhulu: ngokuqhelekileyo abantu baphila ixesha elide utshatile, bona babe nabantwana, kwaye ke kufuneka ukuba banobunzima. Emva kokuba yonke le minyaka ukuba babe ngabahlobo abasenyongweni kakhulu, yaye ngoku ufumana kangangoko kuwe, loo nto nakanjani. Ukongeza, nobudlelwane intsapho onjalo ukuba isiphoso umntu omnye: ukungcatshwa umfazi wakhe ngokuqinisekileyo akuzange kwenzeke nje kuba into ekhokelela oku. Mhlawumbi yona ilindele kuwe into yokuba wathabatha ixesha ukunika ixesha lakhe akazange aqonde okanye abazange ukunikela ingqalelo, kwaye umntu wayithimba nje futhi alusebenzisa le meko? Ekugqibeleni, ukungcatshwa umfazi wakhe - into eyoyikekayo, esinzulu, kodwa ke isiphoso, ngubani phakathi kwethu akumenzi?

isigqibo

Mhlawumbi iyavakala ukuxolela yokungathembeki? Kukho imbono engachananga abantu abakwazi ukuxolela ndandi- umfazi wakhe, oko kukuthi iqashiso bangenamandla. Nje okufanayo ezibuthathaka - ukubaleka ubaleka iingxaki, kunye nesakhono ukuxolela - njenge impilo olomeleleyo aqinileyo. Kakade ke, oku lula kunjalo, ngenxa yokuba amadoda ukukopela umfazi onamava kakhulu nzima ngakumbi buhlungu, ingakumbi abo na ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakhe nangaphandle. Abantu abanjalo bekuya kuba kuhle ukuba ukufumana indlela yokuphuma iimvakalelo apha ogqibeleleyo imisebenzi lokuzonwabisa esebenzayo ukuya emidlalweni eyingozi. Kungenzeka kwakhona ukuba ixesha ukuya kwelinye isixeko okanye kwamanye amazwe, ukufumana okuninzi yokuvela, kwaye uzive phantse eqhelekileyo. Kulapho kwezo zihlandlo, ngokuzola, ngaphandle awunayo, kufuneka ukuba ukhumbule ubomi kunye, konke ukutyeba ukuba abophe, kodwa kuphela kubiza kwaye kunxibelelana gama nje akukho kuyimfuneko, kuba emva kokuba zonke oyifunayo, uze umnike ukuba azive ukuba akwenzileyo uwulahlileyo ukuba siqhubeke oku kwenzeka kwakhona.

A njengenyathelo

Xa uziva ukulungele ukuxolela ewolo, kodwa kuthathe ezinye iinyanga ezimbalwa, ngoko ke kufuneka ubuyele ngokuthe ngcembe. Okokuqala kulula ukuba ukudibana uthethe kwintsimi cala, umzekelo, kwi cafe, ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo ukuqonda ukuba unako ukukwenza oko okanye hayi, uze ngoko ke imeko iya kubonisa ngokwayo. Ukongeza, ukubuya ngcembe uya kuzuza kuphela ubuhlobo entsha.