Ndiyabathiya bam abantwana. Indlela yokuhlala nayo kunye nokwenza ntoni?

Sasisebenzisa ukukhokelela kwimpilo yethu kwiimveliso zokurhweba. Intsapho enonwabileyo, abazali abanothando, badlala, kodwa abantwana abathobelayo. Oomama abanomonde baxelela ngokucacileyo oonyana neentombi indlela yokuziphatha ngayo. Kwaye, kubonakala ngathi, "Ndithiya abantwana bam" awakwazi ukuza "kubazali bokwenene". Kwaye nangona kunjalo ngokwenene ezi zivakalelo zangempela, siza kubagxotha ekugqibeleni, ngaphandle kokuziqonda nakwabo. "Ndiyayithiya abantwana bam," loo ntokazi iyacinga ukuba, "kodwa akukho silwanyana esiya kukhubekisa inzala kwaye siyakusoloko siyikhusele." Ndingayivakalelwa njani le nto? Ukuba ndicinga ukuba kunjalo, andiyinto enhle njengomama. " I-tab ephezulu kakhulu - ngenxa yokuvuleka kwethu kunye nokuziphatha okukhululekile-kusenjalo kumfanekiso wobudlelwane kwintsapho. Nangona kunjalo, izazi zengqondo zithi akukho mnye umama othe wangena ngelo xesha engazange azive ngale ndlela kumntwana wakhe.

Kutheni kwenzeka oku kwaye kufuneka silwe nalo? Ukuqala, kwimbono yoluntu, "umama wokwenene" kufuneka ahlale ehlawulela. Kukholelwa ukuba unyanzelekile ukuba anganelisekanga zonke iimfuno kunye neengxowa zomntwana wakhe, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo ukukhonza intsapho, umsebenzi, jongile kwaye ujabule. Kwaye umama kaninzi akafumani ukulala ngokwaneleyo, uhlala exinzelelekileyo, uxanduva oluxanduva, ophelelwe ngumzimba. Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo, unengxaki ngemfundo kwinqanaba ngalinye: oogogo "ngokucophelela" bacetyisa ukuba wenza konke okungahambi kakuhle, ngoko abahlobo bakhe, ngoko ke oogxa bakhe, kunye nabantwana bakhe abanomdla 'ekuhlanganiseni' iingcamango zakhe ngendlela Fanele ukuba. Ingcamango yokuqala evela kumama kwaye iyisongela - "Ndiyayithiya abantwana bam." Enyanisweni, ngokuqhelekileyo le nto ihluke kakhulu. Oku akuyiyoyiyo, ukuba uhlalutya indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Umama akafuni ububi kubantwana bakhe. Kodwa ngomzuzwana othile, kubonakala ngathi ukuba "beyanyamalala" okanye behluke, iingxaki zabo zaziye zaphazamiseka okanye zazisombulula. Wayenokulala, enze oko akufunayo, ukhulule, uhlale nabahlobo bakhe. Ndithenga into ethile kum, kwaye kungekhona kumntwana onomdla ongunaphakade, ohlala "engonelanele".

Ukuba uhlala uhanjelwa ngcamango "Ndimthiyile umntwana wam," ndimele ndenze ntoni, ngubani na ukuba ndidibanise naye? Okokuqala, cwaka. Imvakalelo yakho ayiyikuguquka. Yiyo indlela oyenzayo yokuxinezeleka. Ukuba ukhangele uncedo kunye nempendulo yombuzo othi kungani abazali bebazondayo abantwana babo, oko akusiyo isizathu esivakalayo sakho sengqondo. Inyaniso yokuba uzama ukujamelana nale ngxaki, ubonisa ukuba ngokwenene uyamthanda umntwana wakho. Ngenxa yenzondo, uyamkela ukucaphuka, ukukhathala, umsindo, ukuphelelwa yithemba, ukuvakalelwa. Kwaye isizathu esiyinyaniso kukuba ukhangele kuwe. Ziziphi iimfuno zakho ezinganelisekanga? Ziziphi izicwangciso ezenza uzibuze kakhulu? Kutheni ufuna ukuba "ngumama onobuhle"? Ukuthandwa ngabamelwane kunye nabaziwayo okanye kubantwana bekhululekile kwaye bekhuselekile? Ngokuqhelekileyo, inzondo yokucinga yenzalo ngokwenene iyinkohliso nokuzidelela, ukuzithoba okubangela ukuba abazali bangakwazi ukuhlangabezana nemisebenzi yabo.

Ungesabi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye nabantwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali benza impazamo enkulu, bengayivumeli iimvakalelo zabo. Kwaye umntwana ufumana ubunzima: uvakalelwa kukuba unina okanye utata uthukuthele, uyacaphuka, uzive engacatshanganga. Kodwa xa bengathethi ngqo malunga naluphi uhlobo lwezenzo abazithandayo, ngaba yintoni eyabathukuthelisa, kodwa, ngokuchaseneyo, benetyala ngenxa yeemvakalelo zabo ezimbi, zama "ukukhulula" ngobubele obungavamile, izipho, abantwana bafunda ukuba iimvakalelo zinyani zimele zifihlwe , Ukunyaniseka akuvumelekanga. Nangona ukunyanzelwa rhoqo kunye nokutshintsha kweemvakalelo zomntu kubangelwa ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo ngobuntu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukhiphi ukuphosa ubugwenxa nanini nasiphi na isihlandlo kunye nokumemeza kuwo wonke umntu: "Ndiyabazonda abantwana bam ngenxa yokuba ..." Kodwa ukuthetha ngokucacileyo: "Ndiyomsindo kuba andithandi oku kwaye, Ndibuhlungu xa wenza njalo kwaye, "kulunge ngakumbi kwaye uphilile ulwalamano lwentsapho kunokunyaniseka nokunyanzeliswa kwemvakalelo engalunganga nangayiphi na indlela.