Yintoni codependency kubudlelwane? Indlela ukuba balahle codependency: benza kwengqondo

Abantu abaninzi kubomi babo ujongene ingqiqo codependency kulwalamano, yaye musa nokuba ungazi nto ngaloo nto. Le ndoda, owayefelwe ukuzimela, xa iperi babuthathaka nabafuna, usengozini kwiimo rhoqo ndlongondlongo. Intliziyo yakhe uyazi ukuba uxhomekeke komnye umntu, kodwa ingqondo unyanzelisa ukuba kumele kube njalo. Abaninzi izibini abazi ukuba ayibulale njani of codependency kubudlelwane. Abavumelani, fumana amahlakani ezintsha, kodwa isekhona ingatshintshanga.

Codependency kunye nosapho

Codependency - imo enamandla, omnye Ukutsho ke ndithi, i-attachment okungaqhelekanga komnye umntu, kwaye ikhona nje kuphela nemibutho zothando. Unina nentombi, umzalwana nodade, uyise yabantwana nxaxheba neentlobano ezinjalo. Ngokomzekelo, utata ngeenxa Kuyakhuthaza intombi encinci, amehlo akhe abaziingelosi kwanyanzeleka ukuba enze nayiphi na sivumelane yayo. Oku kuxhomekeke intombi yakhe, yaye ongakwazi ukuzilwela, wadla yena, naye, ukwazi oku, siyaqhubeka zokuzisebenzisa kuyo.

Lo mzekelo iqwalasela indlela yokuziphatha codependent lwe upopu kunye nomntwana. Intombi liqothaqikili, yaye, mhlawumbi, kwixesha elizayo, xa umdala ngokwaneleyo, uya kufuna umfazi, njengoyise. Yena kulula ukuhanahanisa kwaye sicinge ukuba kufuneka kube njalo. Ngenxa yoko, ubomi bakhe buya kuba codependency langoku kulwalamano. Indlela ukuba ayibulale, intombazana, Kakade ke, akazi, ngoba akubonakali ukuba bacinge ngokuba injani na eneqikili.

Ekubeni abanye kubonakale ukuba abe yinto ephambili intsapho - oko kakhulu, kodwa ke, njengokuba umthetho, oko Bundisinda njengomthwalo onzima. Abasetyhini bakholisa ukuba uthathe inyathelo, ukuba umthetho indoda yakhe yaye ekugqibeleni ukukhalazela ukuba spineless kunye nantoni na indoda ekwaziyo.

Codependency - isifo?

Eneneni, iisayikholojisti abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba loo nto sisifo ukuba akusoloko ayinakunyangeka. Kukho iindlela ezininzi zifundisa ukuba ayibulale njani of codependency kubudlelwane kunye olikhoboka lotywala. Ngeendlela ezininzi, ezi ndlela iyaphikisana, kodwa zonke ezo zinto zalatha ukuba le "sifo" ngozalelwe kuloo ebuntwaneni.

Umsebenzi yabazali ukukhulisa umntwana, ukumnika imfundo kunye nolwazi, kunye apho uya kuhamba omdala. Abantwana kufuneka bazive ukuba bayathandwa yaye aqondwe. Iminyaka 6 enabo kwimbono yehlabathi, leyo kwixesha elizayo kunzima ukutshintsha. Ukungabikho yokhuseleko kweli xesha Iifomu ivenkile enkulu abantwana izakhiwo, nto leyo bathi abathimbi nabo bonke ubomi bam.

Amaninzi, abantwana nedolyubili, sikhulele engakhuselekanga. Zivalwe kakhulu kwaye eyoyikekayo. Njengoko abadala, ukuba baphenjelelwa abanye abantu, yaye kulula kakhulu ukuyisebenzisa. Inkoliso Andazi nokuba ukuba phantsi kweempembelelo zabantu, yaye, ngokunjalo, andazi ukuba ayibulale njani of codependency eluthandweni kunye nobudlelwane nabanye.

Indlela ukuqaphela imeko ekuxhomekekeni omnye umntu

Into yokuqala ukujonga thina kunye nolwalamano lwethu nabantu. Zama ukuphendula ngokunyaniseka imibuzo embalwa:

1. Ngaba uyazisola ngenxa yokusilela zabanye?
2. Awunayo injongo ebomini, kwaye uchitha nje ixesha lakho e lilambathayo emsebenzini kunye yasendlini?
3. Ingaba unayo ezinye ulawulo zakho ezibalulekileyo (apho uya khona; njani ukubuyela kakhulu, onibizelayo kobakhe)? Kwaye unengxaki ukuyilawula?
4. Nokuba awufuni ukuba ube ukulungele ukunceda umntu ekondleni?
5. Ingaba ungumntu oneentloni? Uze wenze njalo lula ukucela ulwalathiso endleleni?
6. Ukhathazekile ngento abanye abantu bacinga ntoni ngawe?

Ukuba ubuncinane isiqingatha le mibuzo impendulo yakho nguewe - ukuba umntu codependent. Unakho ilawulwe, yaye ukuba umntu onjalo bavale, loo nto iya kuba, ngenxa yokuba izibambo kakuhle kakhulu "ukubona amaxhoba awo." Kunika umdla ukuba ubudlelwane co-oxhomekeke usoloko inxaxheba ngabantu ababini ubuncinane. Oko kukuthi, ipere enjalo, omabini amaqabane ke kule meko, kwiindawo alinganayo. Abantu bahlala emtshatweni kwaye musa nokuba bacinge ngoko ntetho codependency kubudlelwane. Indlela bahlukane le meko kwaye ukufumana uxolo, abazi noba. Kwaye ke bantu baqonde ukuba uxhomekeke komnye umntu, bakholelwa ukuba oku kuya kutshintsha.

Ukoyika ukuthetha ngeminqweno

abantu Codependent zivalwe kakhulu ngokwabo. Xa uqala kuqala, Kakade ke, abantu babe nobudlelwano kakhulu, yena uyakwazi ukuthetha iiyure amabali ahlekisayo, kodwa akubonakali ukuxelela into ngeziqu zabo. Aba bantu ayoyika ukuthetha iminqweno zawo ngokuphandle. Bona wayeyoliswa kakhulu umdlalo obizwa "Uyazi ngokwam." Ngokomzekelo, xa okudlela etafileni lo mbuzo: "Ngaba nifuna ntoni: iti okanye juice" - impendulo kungalandelwa: "Ufuna ntoni, andikhathali." Le Amazwi ithetha ukuba Buzi kufuneka bacinge baze baqikelele ukuba iminqweno omnye wabuza. Yiloo nto kanye livela codependency kubudlelwane. Indlela ukulahla "sifo", isibini akazi, ngoko ke ukuhlala nale ubomi bakhe bonke.

Tai, okanye umdlalo Silent

Izibini codependent ngokufuthi uyakwazi ukufumana imeko ukuba amaqabane isigqibo kwisiqingatha sesibini yaye ngoko nangoko ayikuthandi kubo. Masithi isimo ngezantsi.

INdoda Walibala kuvuyisana imini lwakho oluthandayo 8th ka March. Umfazi ngokukhawuleza, ngaphandle kokucela kuba, egqiba ukuba wenza ngabom. Kakade ke ayikwazi, uze ubuze lo mbuzo, kodwa ingqondo yam ufumene impendulo lilungile: ". Umyeni njani ukuba injongo, ukufundisa isifundo kum, bekuya kuba yimfuneko ukuba Impindezelo yeyam" Waza ke umfazi uqalisa ukwakha isicwangciso beziphindezela: ". Kwaye ndiza kuhamba nabahlobo bakhe shop kwaye ndichithe yonke imali card lakhe" INdoda engakholwa ukholelwa ukuba umfazi wakhe nekukudlala ngemali kakhulu, kwaye ugqiba ukuba yoyigodusa yonke imali.

Yilaa amazwi unsaid snowball nezenzo ziya aqondwe yimimango ngeziqendu ezitsha de ukuwa de izibini entloko. Eyona, oku kuya kukhokelela yayisothusa omkhulu, yaye okubi - kuya kukhokelela mtshato.

bafunda ukuthetha

Xa abantu bebona ukuba singabahlobo, ke umbuzo: "? Indlela balahle codependency kulwalamano" Berry Psychologist Uaynhold Tips kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ekucombululeni le ngxaki. Yena kunye nomfazi wakhe, uJenny wahamba endleleni inkululeko. Xa badibana, ngamnye kubo sele etshatile, yaye walala phantsi ezithile iingcinga ngokuphathelele ubomi bentsapho. Le ncwadi "Liberation evela codependency," ebhaliweyo ababhali emangalisayo ezifana Berry Uaynhold kunye Dzheney Uaynhold ichaza imiba codependency kunye nezisombululo zazo.

Inyathelo lokuqala (kwaye okubaluleke) ukuze ususe le ngxaki kukukwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo isiqingatha sayo sesibini. Akukho kangako kukuba ukufunda ukuphulaphula umntu omthandayo.

Nanku umzekelo obalaseleyo wendlela ukuba balahle codependency eluthandweni ababhali kule ncwadi. Ngaphambi nje kokuba Berry wadibana Jenny, waza wangcwatyelwa umfazi wakhe uBarbara. Waba kakhulu futhi udinga inkxaso. umfazi omtsha akazange acaphuke kuyo, inkxaso Berry. Ekuhambeni kwexesha uJenny waphulaphula amabali malunga nenkosikazi yakhe ex-umfazi waza wamnika icebiso ngendlela yokuhlangabezana nale ntlekele. Kuye kwavulwa kuye, yaye kuba akazange acaphuke kuyo.

isisombululo ngokukhawuleza ukuba ningavisisani

Kukho enye into ebaluleke kunceda ukuphelisa codependency kubudlelwane. Xa naziphi na iimeko zongquzulwano usapho, yaye nakanjani. Ekubeni wonke yahlukile, wonke umntu uluvo, kwaye lusoloko ayikwazi lifane imbono yeqabane. Kubaluleke gqitha xa kukho ungquzulwano ukubusithelisa nenqala nesithandwa sakhe. Ukuba amazwi akhe buhlungu uyihlo, uthi kuye ngayo ngexesha elifanayo. Musa ukulinda ixesha elifanelekileyo, kwaye musa ukugcina nenqala entliziyweni yakhe.

Umthandazo in aid

Kubalulekile ukuqonda indlela amava nobuntwana ezibuhlungu kuwe, yaye yintoni eyenza ube ixhomekeke kwiimeko usapho. Zama ukusombulula ingxaki yobuntwana nabanye isiqingatha yakho. Nalu omnye umzekelo indlela balahle codependency kulwalamano ababhali Berry Uaynhold kunye Dzheney Uaynhold. Njengoko umntwana yomzali Jen wafumana ngaphantsi ubushushu nomzimba contact. Berry dayo ukuba ajamelane nale ngxaki; ke zakusa ezingalweni zakhe waza stroked ixesha elide, yena gqaba wabuyela ebuntwaneni bakhe yaye zathathelwa indawo ngabazali bakhe. Kufuneka ucele omnye wakho ukuba akunike into oya kufumana evela kubazali babo. Oku kukuvumela ukuba umzame ummelwane wakho evela kwizakhiwo ezininzi ezinxulumene ne ebuntwaneni.

iqabane Ukutshintsha

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba ukuze bahlukane codependency, kuyimfuneko ukuba umtshato umntu. Nangona kunjalo, le ndlela akusoloko elungileyo. Olu khetho kunokwenzeka kuphela xa iqabane ngokupheleleyo awufuni yokuthsintsha nantoni na ebomini bakhe. Kuya kwenzeka njani enye utshintsho, ukuba kuphika codependency kubudlelwane? Nendlela yokuzifumana yintoni na kubona yena akuthathi nzulu?

Kodwa ukuba kukho ephawulekayo ukulungele ukutshintsha, ukulungele ukutshintsha indlela ukusoloko wobomi balahle codependency, ngoko ke umele abahamba endleleni kunye. Utshintsho eziyimfuneko ukuze omabini amaqabane, kangangokuba elowo kubo babeyibona zabo nokwanela, nibe ngamnye.

Eyona umdla, mhlawumbi, kulwalamano co-oxhomekeke ukuba ukungabikho kwabo ebangela umntu njengesiphango neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo. Indlela ngamakhoboka otywala kufuna amanzi, ngoko ekuqaleni co-oxhomekeke amaqabane kufuneka ingxabano hlakalo. Kwikota wezengqondo ukukhululwa ulwalamano olunjalo kuthiwa nelinye. Xa isibini nganye abathandi kufuneka uzive ingqibelelo yakho kunye nokwanela. Kufuneka azi ukuba uthando lwakhe ngokunyanisekileyo ungubani ngokwenene. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba abantu ngokwenene ezamahala ababini kuphela kunokuba kunye bonwabile kwaye lixhomekeke kwelinye.