8 iimpawu ezikhangayo ezifunwa ngabantu kwiqabane

Ukuba ufuna ukwandisa umdla wakho wesondo, hamba kude kwisibuko.

Ibhizinisi i-Insider licele iqela leengcali ngokuthandana kunye nolwalamano ukwabelana ngeempawu ezikhangayo kunomlingane onokuthi, kwaye akukho namnye okhankanyiweyo. Ewe, ukujonga okulungileyo kubalulekile, kodwa kubonakala ngathi abantu bafuna umntu ozithembayo kunye nabanye.

Funda ukuze ufumane ukuba uluhlobo luni lweempawu ozifunayo ukusebenzela ukutsala uthando.

Trust

"Kungakhathaliseki ukuba bayayazi okanye akunjalo, kodwa ukuthembela kubaluleke kakhulu abantu abajonge kumlingane," utshilo uMichael McNulty, umqeqeshi oyintloko kwaye uqinisekisile ingcali kwintsebenziswano evela kwiChicago Centre for Communications.

Enyanisweni, uphando lusitsho ukuba abantu bahlala benqwenela ukuhamba kwiintlanganiso zothando kunye nobudlelwane bexesha elide xa benomuva wokuba banokuthembela kumlingane onokwenzeka. Ukuthembela kulwalamano aluhlanganisi nje ngokunyaniseka, kodwa kunye notyalo-mali ubudlelwane. Lo mqondo wokuzinikela komnye nomnye. Ingongoma kukuba bobabini abalingani baqinisile kubo kunye nolwalamano lwabo oluqhelekileyo. Bathembekileyo malunga noko bafuna, kwaye bazimisele ukusebenza kwiintlukwano zabo ekukhangekeni kwe-compromise.

U buhlobo

"Abalingani abazama ukuzanazana, baxabana, kwaye banokubamba kwaye baphendule kwiimvavanyo nokubonakaliswa kwemvakalelo komnye nomnye, kungekhona nje abathandi, kodwa nabahlobo," kusho uMcNulty.

Oku kuquka ukuxhaswa, ukuhleka, ukuqonda, kunye nezinye iimpawu ezintle. Ubuhlobo buyakha kwaye buphucula ubuhlobo obusondeleyo obungokomzwelo ekuhambeni kwexesha, kwaye uthando luyabanceda abathandanayo ukuba bavelelane ngendlela entsha ngexesha ngalinye.

Ukuxhatshazwa

"Sithanda abantu abanamandla ngokwaneleyo ukubonisa nokuzivula ngaphandle kokujonga ukuthembela," kusho uHal Runkel, umtshato kunye nosapho ngengqondo kunye nomlobi we "Khetha Ubomi Bakho Abadala."

Uthando ngokwakho

"Siyathanda abantu abanokuzihleka kwaye baziva bekhululekile emizimbeni yabo kwaye bathande ngokwenene ukuba bangobani," kusho u-Runkel.

U ku kholosa

"Sithanda abantu abathembekileyo abangakwazi ukuzama oko bafuna ngaphandle kokubonisa into ethile kumntu," kusho u-Runkel.

UJoseph Burgot, ingqondo yengqondo kunye nomlobi kaNarcissus, owaziyo, uthi into efanayo: "Ukuzihlonela ngokuphezulu isondo xa ungangena kwi-narcissistic self-absorption."

Xa sithatha inxaxheba ekuthandaneni, sifaka inxalenye yesazisi kweso sibini esenzayo kunye nomnye umntu. Ngenxa yokuba abantu banomuva wokuba badibanise nomntu onentembelo ephakamileyo kunye nokwenza ukuba bazive kakuhle.

Inzala enomdla

"Nabani na obuza imibuzo malunga nawe kwaye wenza umgudu wokuqonda ukuba ukhangeleka kakhulu," utsho uBurgo.

Sonke sifuna ukuvakalelwa kukuba sinomdla kwaye sinomdla kubafundi bethu abathandanayo. Ukongeza, umntu onomdla wokwenene kuthi siyilo, ekuqaleni, mhlawumbi uya kuba ngumlingani oqondayo kwixesha elide.

UDkt. Terry Orbuh (PhD), ulwalamano lobudlelwane, uprofesa kwiYunivesithi yaseAuckland kunye nombhali we "Uphando olutsha olwenzela uthando: 6 Amanyathelo alula kuBudlelwane obutsha novuyo" uyavumelana nale ngcamango athi: "Ukuba uhlala uchitha ixesha" ukuthengisa " , Ubonakala uzinzondelele, unokuba uzive ufuna imfuneko yokuba "uzithengise" kumlingane onokuthi, kodwa eqinisweni, ukuba uqhubeka uthetha ngawe, uya kuhlukanisa omnye umntu. Ulwalamano, kwangoko ekuqaleni, lunikela kwaye lwamkela. Abo banxibelelwano ababuza imibuzo ngabo, baze baphulaphule ngokukhawuleza iimpendulo, oko kuthetha ukuba banomdla, banomdla kubo, njengabantu ngabanye, banqwenela ukubazi kakuhle.

Ukuzihlaziya

"Uthotho lwenza naluphi na ulwalamano kunye nayiphi na intlanganiso ilungile," kusho uOrbukh.

Kuyinto enhle xa unesimo esihle, kwaye kumnandi ukuba nomntu othanda ukuhleka kwaye unentloni. Ukuba umntu unzima kakhulu, kubonakala ukuba kufuneka usebenze nzima ukuba ube naye. Kodwa kulula kakhulu xa uhleka nje into ethile kunye.

Kodwa i-Orbukh ikwabalumkisa abantu ukuba ngamanye amaxesha bayama ngamandla kakhulu: "Hlalani kude nokuzihlazisa, ngokomzekelo, ukuhlekisa umsebenzi okhethiweyo okanye usapho lwakho."

Efanelekileyo

"Sithandwa ngabantu abanomdla kunye nethemba, banokuhleka baze bahlekise," kusho uOrbukh.

Ukungabikho kokungahambi kakuhle kubangela ukungalungi, kwaye xa sinobomi abakuwo amandla angalunganga (ukuphazamiseka, ukuphelelwa lithemba), oku kuchaphazela isimo sethu sengqondo kunye namathemba ebomini kunye ngokubanzi. Ngoko ke, sifuna ukuba nomntu onethemba, egxile kwizinto ezilungileyo kwaye uyazi ukubona kakuhle kwiimeko ezininzi.