Unokumisela njani uhlobo lomntu obonakalayo?

Xa sisaqhelana nomntu, ngongqondo lwethu kukho uvelwano okanye ukuchasana. Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu. Abantu abanolwazi oluncinane malunga neengqondo bangakwazi ukubona ngokucacileyo umlingiswa womntu obonakalayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uziphatha njani nabanye, ezinye iimpawu zinika isimo sengqondo sengqondo ebantwini kunye nokunyamekela nantoni na. Naliphi na imizamo yokubonisa umdla kwincoko iya kugqiba okanye ibonise impawu.

Into yokuqala evumela ukuba unqume uhlobo lomntu ngokubonakala, inzuzo yakhe. Kukho iintlobo ezininzi:

• Isinyathelo samahhala sihambelana nomntu ohamba ngokungakhathali ebomini. Uhlala esenza izithembiso, kodwa uyazizalisekisa ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye akayithandi ukuzibophelela.
• Kubonakala, u-hesiti gait ufihla umntu ongenakunyanisekileyo, oqulethwe ngumntu ongeyithandi ukuba abe kwindawo ebonakalayo.
• Ukuba ubona umntu ohamba ngeenyawo ehamba ngokuqinileyo kwaye enamandla, sinokuthi oku: unokuzithemba kakhulu, kwaye umlinganiswa wakhe ukhawuleza.
• Ukuqhaqha kunye nokuhamba kanzima, okuthandayo yonke into eyenzekayo. Laba bantu banesimiso se-nervous weak, ngoko ke banomdla wokudandatheka.

Sekukuvumela ukuba wazi umlingiswa womntu ngokubonakala komfanekiso wakhe. Ukutyekela ukuzaliseka (i-viscerotonics) ixhamla kunye nabantu abalungileyo. Bayizicwangcisi ezibalaseleyo kwaye bakha intsapho enamandla kunye noxolo. Uhlobo lwezemidlalo lomgaqo-siseko (somatonic) luyenzeka kubantu abaneentloko ezifanelekileyo kuyo nayiphi na ishishini. Enyanisweni, baqala ukwenza, baze bacinge. Umntu omncinci unesimo esinyanisekileyo esiphupha kakhulu, cwangcisa, kodwa ungenzi nto ukuba uqonde iminqweno yabo. Bazama ukuphepha iingxabano, kwaneziphumo ezibangelwa ngabantu basekuhlaleni.

Unokumisela uhlobo lomntu ngokubonakala ngenye indlela. Namela ingqalelo. Ukuba unembuyiselo evulekileyo, ngokuziphakamisa ngokuziphakamisa intloko kunye nokujonga ngokuthe ngqo, ngoko unomntu oqinileyo kunye onomnqweno onokwakhe uluvo. Abantu abanjalo bayabangela ukuba bahloniphe. Unqwenela ukuma - into epheleleyo. Abaqinisekanga ngokwabo, bayesaba ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba benze isigqibo, ngoko bancike kwimbono yomntu.

Ulwimi lwezandla lelinye iqhosha elinceda ekuchazeni umlingiswa womntu. Ukuba i-welder ijika itende lomdlali wayo, oku kubonisa ukuphakama kwakhe. Ulungelelwano lwamacandelo entendelezo lubahlonela. Baxhaphaza izandla kunye nabancinci abantu abanobukrakra. Isango elibandayo nelinyameko lifihla umntu obuthakathaka, nangona kubonakala ngathi unqwenela ngamandla, lukhuni kwaye luba namandla.

Enye inketho yendlela yokuchonga uhlobo lomntu obonakalayo, uvavanyo. Uya kunceda ukutyhila ngokucacileyo iimfihlelo zakhe. Kufuneka ikhunjulwe ukuba umfanekiso awuhlali ubeka zonke iimpawu zomntu ngamnye, kuba izinto ezahlukeneyo zishiya uphawu lwabo: imfundo, imvelo kunye nokunye okuninzi. Nangona, ukwazi isahlulo seengqondo nokufunda ngakumbi, uya kuba nokufunda ukuqaphela abantu, ukuqonda kakuhle kwaye ufumane ngokukhawuleza ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye nabantu abaqhelana nabo.