Psychology. Ziziphi iikhono zokuxhumana?

Akuyiyo imfihlo umntu ukuba impumelelo yomntu ayikho nje inhlanhla yempilo kunye namandla akhe. Isizathu sokumisela kwiimeko ezininzi ubuhlobo bakhe nabanye. Kwaye izakhono zonxibelelwano ziqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane obuhle. Ukususela kumlinganiselo abaphuhlisiwe ngawo, impumelelo yomntu ixhomekeke kumabini akhe kunye nezobugcisa.

Izakhono zonxibelelwano

Amakhono okuqhagamshelana ngamakhono kunye nezakhono zokunxibelelana nabantu abakujikelezile ngoncedo lwamagama ngaphandle kwabo: ngokulinganisa, ukuzithobela, ulwimi lomzimba kunye nomfanekiso. Oku kubandakanya kokuthunyelwa okuchanekileyo kwempawu kunye nokwamkelwa kwazo ngokuchanekileyo.

Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezifanelekileyo ziyisiseko sempumelelo kwimpembelelo yonke. Ukuba badibene ngokuvisisana nekhosi yabo, baya kuba yinto ebalulekileyo ekusekeni bonke ubudlelwane bobudlelwane, bobabini kunye nezoshishino.

Amakhono oqhelwano lomntu ngamnye: ingqondo kunye nexesha lophuhliso

Amakhono oqhagamshelwano aqala ukuphuhlisa kubantu ngokukhawuleza emva kokuzalwa. Kukholelwa ukuba ngaphambili umntwana ufunda ukuthetha, kulula ukusebenzisana nabantu abakujikelezile.

Amakhono okuxhumana omntu ngamnye akhiwa ngokuthe ngqo. Kukho izinto ezininzi ezichaphazela ukuphuhliswa kwazo: ezi zibudlelwane nabazali kunye neentsapho, kamva kunye noontanga, kunye noogxa kunye nolawulo. Ukongezelela, indima ebanzi yoluntu kuluntu ibalulekile.

Amakhono oqhagamshelwano ... Iingcaciso kunye neempawu

Ukuba ebuntwaneni umntu akafumananga ukuqonda okufanelekileyo kunye nenkxaso evela kwizihlobo zakhe, okumthintele ukuba azuze amava oonxibelelwano, unokukwazi ukungaqiniseki nokuzibandakanya. Okokuthi, izakhono zakhe zokunxibelelana ziya kuba ziphantsi. Unokuphuma njani kule meko? Ukuphuhlisa izakhono zonxibelelwano. Nangona kunjalo, ngaphambi kokuqonda indlela yokwenza kwimeko enjalo, kubalulekile ukuqonda isakhiwo soqhagamshelwano.

Izakhono zokuthetha zomntu, ezizibonakaliso ezingezantsi, ziquka ezi zilandelayo.

• Ukulawula kunye nokuthetha: ukukwazi ukunceda umntu kwimeko enzima, kunye nokwamkela uncedo lomnye xa ufumana imeko enzima. Ukongezelela, le ntlobo ijongene nokukwazi ukulungisa iingxabano ezisakhulayo ezifanelekileyo.
• I-Affective-communicative: ukukwazi ukuphawula amazwi anemvakalelo yabanye, kunye nexesha kunye nokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo. Ukongezelela, le ntlobo ixanduva lokubonisa ukuphendula kunye nentlonelo yongenelelo.
• Ulwazi kunye noqhagamshelwano: ukukwazi ukuqala, inkxaso kunye nokugqiba incoko. Ukongezelela, olu lwazi lunceda ukutsala ingqalelo yomnxibelelwano, usebenzisa zombini iindlela zokuthetha zonxibelelwano nezengxelo.

Ukuphuhliswa kwezakhono zonxibelelwano

Amakhono okuqhagamshelana (kubangelwa kwengqondo) enye ebaluleke kakhulu kumntu. Yingakho kufuneka bakhuliswe kulo lonke ubomi. Kodwa oko kungenziwa njani? Makhe sicinge ngeendlela eziphambili zokuphuhlisa izakhono zokunxibelelana.

Mamela ngakumbi

Amakhono okuthetha omntu ngabanakho ukukwazi ukusebenzisana nomntu ngokukhawuleza. Ngaba oku kuyenzeka ngaphandle kokuphulaphula umxhasi? Ngaphandle.

Mhlawumbi olu buchule lokuthetha luyinto engabalulekanga. Abantu bavame ukuzicingela kunye nokuzingca. Abaninzi babo bajwayele ukuthetha ngokuzodwa, kunye nendawo yonke. Abantu abanjalo abaphulaphuli kwaye abaphulaphuli umnxibelelwano: balindele ukuba aqedele ukuthetha, aqale ukuthetha kwakhona. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukunqoba lo mkhuba omubi?

Indlela efanelekileyo kukulibala ngokukodwa okwethutyana. Gxininisa ingqalelo xa uthetha malunga noko abantu abakujikelezayo bathethayo, kungekhona "yakho" okanye incoko yangaphakathi. Ngaphantsi cinga ngawe kunye nentando yakho - ngaphezulu malunga nomntu othetha naye kunye naye ophulaphulayo.

Ukongezelela, ukuphulaphula ngenyameko umnxibelelwano kuya kukunceda ubone indlela engcono yokuqhubeka nencoko. Imibuzo kufuneka ibuzwe iquka iimpendulo ezongezelelweyo, kunokuba i-monosyllabic "yebo" kunye "no". Oku kuya kunceda ukwenza incoko ibe yinto enomdla kwaye inenjongo.

Musa ukwelula i-monologue: ubukhulu-udade we talente

Lo mgaqo ngokuthe ngqo uhambelana nokukwazi ukuphulaphula nokuva umdibaniselwano. Ukuba umntu wenza njengomlandeli ixesha elide, uyazithintela ithuba lokuva umdibaniselwano. Xa ugxininisa ingqalelo kwenye umntu, uqala ngokuzenzekelayo ukuthetha phantsi.

Sebenza kwizakhono zakho zokwenza

Amandla okuthetha, kwakhona, ubutyebi beempawu ezahlukeneyo kunye nezenzo. Oku kubonakalisa abantu njengabameli boluntu. Umntu onentlalontle ngumthengisi webali kwaye ulingisa, onomdla wokufumana iinkcukacha zerayisi, kwiinkcukacha. Ukhetha ukuhlukahluka ebomini, ngenxa yokuba umntu onjalo unokuhamba ngokulula kwintlalo yoluntu kwenye, ngaphezu koko, uyakwazi ukulungelelanisa nayiphi na imeko. Abantu abanjalo banomdla kwaye banako ukuthanda.

Ukuthetha, ungasebenzisi amagama kuphela, kodwa neendlela zokuthetha zonxibelelwano

Amagama xa kuthelekiswa nolwimi lomzimba - le nxalenye engapheliyo yonxibelelwano.

Iingcali zengqondo zithi ngeendlela ezingekho ngentsingiselo-ithoni, intetho, ulwimi lomzimba kunye nesimo sombuso - umntu udlulisela malunga ne-90% yomyalezo wonke. Ukuba uyayilawula le micimbi ingcono, ngoko kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba udlulisele ingcamango yakho kumnxibelelwano.

Ngokomzekelo, unokufunda ukuthetha ngakumbi ngokomzwelo. Ukuze ugxininise umdla wakho kwizinto othetha ngazo, ungancika kancinci kwaye ukhangele emehlweni akhe. Ukuba ulungile kwaye uvulekile, kuya kubonakaliswa ebusweni bakho kunye nempawu.

Thabatha ingqalelo kwiimpawu kunye neetoni zezwi lakho, ukuthetha nabanye, kwaye uzilungele ukuba kukho imfuneko enjalo.

Hlonipha uluvo lomthumeli

Nangona i ngongoma yombono onxibelelana naye isichasene neyakho, akusiyo isizathu sokungawuphulaphuli. Akukuvumeli ukuba uvumelane naye.

Mamela ngokunyamekileyo, uze ubhekisele omnye umntu kwiindawo ezibangele ukungavumelani kwakho. Kule meko, musa ukumxelela ukuba uyaphosisa okanye akanako. Kungcono ukuvumelana nomnxibelelwano ngokusemthethweni, kuba incoko yenzelwa ukukhangela umgangatho ophakathi kwabantu abahlukeneyo.

Bonisa umdla onyanisekileyo kumnxibelelwano

Xa ubonisa umdla onyanisekileyo kumnxibelelwano, uqala ngokuzikhethela ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza, uzama ukuqonda oko acinga nokuziva. Oko kukuthi, kuya kukunceda ubone ukuba yintoni eyamthanda.

Xa uphulaphule umnxibelelwano, bonisa umdla kumntu wakhe, unokufumanisa lula ukuba akafani nakwe okanye akunakuchukumisa njengoko wayebonakala kuwe xa udibana naye.

Ukongeza, abantu baya kuziva bekhululekile xa bebona umdla kunye neengqalelo zabo, eziza kuxhamla incoko.

Yiba novelwano ukugxekwa

Umfilosofi wasendulo ongumGrike u-Epictet wancenga ukuphulaphula. Ukuba umntu uvakalelwa kuyo ingqolowa ye nyaniso, kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge ngendlela onokuzilungisa ngayo.

Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba ngobuninzi beemeko, ukugxeka kukubonakalisa isimo sengqondo nesimo sengqondo somgxekayo. Mhlawumbi wayenomhla ombi. Mhlawumbi isilwanyana sasekhaya okanye umntwana uyagula. Mhlawumbi umnxibelelwano wakho uthukuthele umntu okanye umona. Ngenxa yokuba abantu bahlala begxila kubo kunye namava abo, kulula kakhulu ukwenza isigqibo esiphuthayo.

Khumbula ukuba ihlabathi alinakuguquka kumntu wakho. Qaphela ukuba abantu bacinga ngawe, izenzo zakho neemvakalelo zimbalwa kakhulu. Olu lwazi lunokwenza lula ubomi bakho. Ngaloo ndlela, ingxaki, edibene nokwesaba ukwenza into engalunganga kwaye ithi into engalunganga (kwaye oku kuthiwa kuya kuthintela iimbono zabanye ngawe), iya kuba yintambo encinci.

Zama ukuba ngumqali wencoko

Izakhamuzi zedolophu enkulu sele zijwayele ukuzenza ngathi zihamba ngesitalato, zihamba ebhasi okanye kwindlela engaphantsi komhlaba, ungaboni umntu oqhelekileyo okanye ungamqondi. Amehlo aphantsi awakubonise ukuba umntu akafuni ukuthetha nomntu, kwaye usebenza - balahlekelwa ngumnqweno wokuthetha.

Uhlobo oludala lomdlalo wokufihla kunye nokufuna kwenza abantu bafumane uxinzelelo kunye nemvakalelo engathandekiyo kwincoko nangona unxibelelwano olungathandekiyo.

Xa ubona umntu omaziyo, kodwa ufihla kakhulu, uzenza ngathi ungamqapheli, uhlala kwindawo yokulinda. Ekhanda intloko ikhupha: ingabe uyandiqonda? Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha? Okanye mhlawumbi unesimo esibi kwaye akayiyo imizwa yengxoxo? Ukuthetha okanye akunjalo akuyimfuneko?

Ukuze ungagxininiswa kwaye ungazitshutshisi kwakhona, kungcono ukuza kwaye uqale ingxoxo, ukuba ube ngumqali walo. Uya kumangaliswa ukuba oku kulula. Ukuba umnxibelelwano akasetyenziswanga incoko, ngoko unokwazi ukutshilo kwaye uhambe.